Uschi Page 2

  When Kathrin walked in amidst all this hysterical commotion, she laughed politely as Uschi, Susan, and Sarah gabbled their way through the description of Selina’s latest pregnancy repercussion. Kathrin Fischer was another German – the office they worked in was the UK branch of a Frankfurt-based enterprise, and as European language skills were needed in every team, Roger had the occasional recruiting trip to the continent, which was where he had (eventually) found Uschi, Vanessa, and also Kathrin. Another slender young woman, and at thirty years of age the oldest in the team after Roger, Kathrin’s breasts had the habit, depending on what she was wearing, of appearing very much grapefruit-like in size and shape, or of seeming to vanish entirely. While Roger had employed her based on the tight, daringly low-cut dress and evidently strapless bra she had worn to the interview, today she was draped in some kind of shapeless poncho affair which rendered her apparently flat-chested. Roger had since then nursed suspicion that perhaps he had been deceived, and that Kathrin had somehow created a misleading illusion of bustiness by way of padding or strategic choices of colour and pattern in her attire. She could be anything from a B-cup to an E, though her band size was most certainly in the low thirties.

  Selina returned from the restroom, with what appeared to be tissue paper lining her breasts beneath the white top. Her nipples were no longer in evidence, anyhow. She blushed as the gentle ribbing from her colleagues persisted a little, but eventually the huddle of prominent-busted young women settled down to do some work.

  Later that morning, Roger, engrossed in actual work, snapped to attention by something Uschi said.

  ‘Guys,’ she addressed the group, ‘I can’t find the contract for Dachshund GmbH.’

  ‘It’s not in the contracts directory?’ said Susan.

  ‘No,’ murmured Uschi, staring at the screen.

  Roger chipped in. ‘Do you have the customer ID?’

  Uschi nodded. ‘75D55AX005,’ she said mechanically. She knew the code by heart.

  ‘And it was you that processed the contract?’

  ‘Yes. I guess I must have saved it in the wrong folder,’ she concluded with a sigh.

  ‘I’d simply do a search of all document contents across the whole company network,’ suggested Roger. ‘Search for your own name and the first three characters of the customer code, and it will turn up that way.’

  ‘Good idea,’ said Uschi, and tapped away.

  Silence descended upon the office space once more. Roger glanced up at Uschi for some indication that she’d found the contract. As he watched, Uschi, studying her screen, suddenly stopped in her tracks. Her lips parted in shock at whatever she was reading on screen, and very slowly she turned her head to meet Roger’s inquisitive look.

  Uh-oh. What now.

  After locking eyes with the increasingly disquieted Roger for some very tense moments, Uschi clicked her mouse, and in an almost trance-like state walked across to the printer, took the sheet of paper that emerged from it, and walked back across to Roger’s desk.

  ‘Roger,’ said Uschi in a firm, steady voice. ‘May we talk in private?’

  ‘Um, sure.’

  Uschi shut the door behind them as Roger sat down in the small meeting room. She didn’t sit but instead, after some deliberation and giving Roger a strange appraising look, laid the printout in front of him, face down.

  ‘Turn it over,’ she said, folding her arms under her bold, shapely chest.

  Roger turned it over and read. His blood ran cold. It was his staff bra size list, complete with all his notes and observations. It was a full written confession of his secret life as a full-on breast-pervert.

  ‘You’ve gone very pale, Roger,’ said Uschi. ‘What’s the matter?’

  As a last ditch effort, Roger played the idiot. ‘Why are you showing me this,’ he half-laughed. ‘What is this? Some kind of office practical joke?’

  ‘Please, Roger. You were the last person to save the file. You wrote this.’ Uschi prodded the sheet of paper with a lacquered fingernail. ‘About us. About our breasts.’

  ‘Now, I don’t know what you’re getting at, but...’

  ‘You know how I found this? I searched the network for the terms “Uschi” and “75D”. The contract turns up, in the wrong folder, as expected, but the search also returns this file called “contract admin”. Roger, are you really so stupid to put this on the corporate network?’

  ‘I can explain...’

  ‘And now I’m thinking,’ Uschi continued, now in full Hercule Poirot monologue mode. ‘Why would you put my bra size down as 75D? Apart from the fact that it’s a very out of date bra size, it’s a German size, in centimetres. And you’ve guessed, badly, the rest of the team’s bra sizes using UK measurements, in inches. And then I remembered, I keep an old sports bra in my desk in case I want to go to the gym at lunch and I forget mine. I’m a bigger size now and it doesn’t fit me very well any more, but the size written on the label of that sports bra? 75D.’

  Roger just stared at Uschi in helpless silence.

  ‘You’ve been going through my things, you fucking pervert!’ Uschi laughed triumphantly. She was enjoying this. ‘Roger? You are well and truly fucked.’

  Chapter Two

  ‘So,’ grinned Uschi darkly, finally pulling up the chair opposite Roger and depositing her shapely rear smugly upon it. ‘We find ourselves in an interesting situation, don’t we.’

  ‘What do you want?’ asked Roger soberly.

  ‘Firstly, I don’t want you doing this behind my back,’ said Uschi.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said Roger, horrified by this whole turn of events. ‘I never intended for anyone to find out.’

  ‘It all makes sense now,’ thought Uschi aloud. ‘You’ve hired us all because we have big boobs. The reason that blonde bimbo is starting on Monday is because of her tits. Do you go and masturbate in the toilets every ten minutes?’

  ‘No,’ protested Roger, truthfully. ‘I really don’t!’

  ‘Then when you get home?’

  ‘This... This is private...’

  ‘So is my sports bra!’ countered Uschi, with a strange smile and a gleam in her eye. She wasn’t angry: she was enjoying the thrill of this power she now held over her boss. ‘And so are my nipples. In your notes you speculate that they are small and dark.’ She threw back her long wavy locks in a contemptuous guffaw. ‘Where do you get that idea? Because I have dark hair and dark eyes?’

  ‘I... I don’t know,’ mumbled Roger.

  Uschi regarded her scolded boss for a moment. ‘You know, in a way I want to get my tits out right now and show you my nipples just to show you how wrong you are. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’

  Roger shook his head. ‘I don’t want you to do anything of the sort.’

  ‘You’re wrong about nipples, wrong about bra sizes,’ said Uschi, counting on her fingers. ‘How can you be so obsessed with boobs but know so little about them?’

  ‘I’m... I’m an idiot,’ said Roger, sheepish and pathetic.

  ‘In a twisted way it’s kind of sweet,’ reasoned Uschi, but Roger knew better than to think he had endeared himself to her. She was plotting. ‘You promise you never masturbate at work?’

  ‘I promise,’ Roger nodded quickly.

  ‘So you spend all day getting turned on more and more by all these pairs of big boobs... My god you must cum so hard when you get home each night.’

  Roger said nothing, but felt his face grow a hot shade of pink.

  Uschi clapped her hands in cruel delight. ‘You let it build up all day, and then let it out. Oh Roger that must feel so good.’

  Again, Roger said nothing. He could nothing now except wait to see where Uschi was going with all of this.

  ‘You realise, Roger, that I am going to have to teach you a lesson?’

  ‘I’ve learnt my lesson, I assure you,’ stammered the terrified forty-year-old. She was going to tell Human Resources, head office in Frankfurt, he was ruined, his career over.

  ‘B
ut,’ she continued, recognising his train of thought, ‘I’m not going to tell anyone about this. Not yet.’

  Roger breathed a slight sigh of relief. ‘What’s the catch?’

  ‘First, Roger, we have to do something about this list.’

  ‘I’ll delete it, I promise!’

  ‘No no, you misunderstand,’ laughed Uschi. ‘We need to find the right answers. You see, now I too am curious about my big-bosom colleagues. What size bra do they wear? What do those bouncy titties look like bare naked? We are going to find out together.’ She leaned back in her chair. ‘And when we have all the answers, then I will decide what to do with you.’

  For the first time in two years, Roger Addington didn’t ejaculate after work. He didn’t eat dinner, didn’t watch television, just sat with a glass of water and stared at the wall. He felt sick to his stomach. His testicles, confused and expecting their nightly purge, ached. After all, he’d nearly seen Vanessa strip topless by mistake, and had been treated to an explicit view of Selina’s pregnant hypernipples through her stretchy white top, so tonight should have been a satisfying orgasm indeed, but the prospect in no way appealed. What was he going to do? He had no choice but to submit to whatever blackmail demands young Uschi saw fit to impose. The one silver lining was that she seemed keen to toy with him, to prolong the torture. It would buy him some time during which to think his way out of this nightmarish state of affairs. And if nothing else it sounded like he would finally get to the bottom of the bra size mystery that had vexed him for so long. Though of course he would rather it were not under the current circumstances. He felt as though he would never cum again. His worries occupied him until late into Friday night and all weekend.

  Monday morning was Alice Hall’s first day. Ordinarily, spending a morning in seclusion with so erotically voluptuously a female would have been bliss for Roger, but his worries about Uschi remained at the forefront of his mind. She had given a friendly hello that morning and had, presumably deliberately, made a big show of letting her firm chest bounce energetically up and down in a low-cut red top as she had shrugged off her coat in front of him. Now she knew his weakness she was going to play on it, in the satisfying knowledge that Roger would now never feel comfortable acting on such flagrant titillation. Similarly, the quad-boob effect caused by Alice’s obviously ill-fitting bra under her tight turquoise top would ordinarily have been eminent masturbatory material for breast-fetishist Roger, but under these conditions a morning spent looking at those poorly-contained breasts while training their owner on IT systems was hell.

  Around noon there was a knock on the training room door. It was Uschi, who went across and re-introduced herself to the busty blonde she herself had so sceptically interviewed.

  ‘Welcome,’ she said with a big smile. ‘I hope Roger isn’t boring you too much!’

  ‘No, no, it’s fine,’ Alice spread her red lips into an effortlessly dazzling smile despite her first-day nerves.

  ‘Roger, have you told her about the treat the company gives to employees on their first day?’ Uschi turned pleasantly to the manager.

  ‘Umm, not yet...’ Roger had no idea what she was talking about but sensed a scheme.

  ‘Oh Alice, you are in for a treat. The company will let you choose a new item of clothing for work which you can claim back on expenses, up to a hundred pounds, isn’t that right, Roger?’

  ‘Yes, Uschi, that is correct,’ said Roger slowly, with a forced grin and a nod.

  ‘Ooh,’ enthused Alice, ‘That certainly is a treat!’

  ‘Can you think of something you really need?’ Uschi subtly glanced at Alice’s chest, so uncomfortably distorted by the poorly fitting brassiere beneath her tight top. ‘And please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have a suggestion. You, Alice, need a new bra.’

  ‘Oh, um, well,’ Alice reddened and glanced awkwardly at Roger, who cleared his throat and looked away.

  ‘Hey, it’s OK,’ said Uschi, ‘We’re all girls here. Oh, you’re worried about Roger? We consider him one of the girls, we talk about boobs and bras in front of him all the time, don’t we Roger?’

  Roger shrugged and smiled. Alice was taken aback by all of this, but eager to fit in with her new team.

  ‘Roger,’ said Uschi, ‘Don’t you think Alice could do with a new bra? Stand up, Alice, let us see.’

  Perturbed, Alice stood.

  ‘Back straight, chest out,’ ordered Uschi in her hearty Bavarian accent.

  The blonde new starter did as she was told, feeling the eyes of her new manager and co-worker on her badly-squashed bosom.

  Uschi stood next to her and pointed to the chubby overflow of breast flesh that surged prominently from the edge of a bra cup. ‘Oh darling, this will never do,’ she said. ‘Look at Alice’s boobs, Roger. See how big they are compared to her bra.’

  ‘Yes, terrible,’ nodded Roger compliantly.

  ‘What’s your bra size, Alice?’ asked Uschi with a subtle wink in Roger’s direction.

  Alice looked befuddled, but, obviously keen to make a good impression, replied that she was wearing a size 36D. Roger was bowled over by how easily one busty girl could elicit so personal a piece of information from another and felt himself becoming turned on, though not in the way he was accustomed to. There was a new thrill in sharing his guilty secret with one of the objects of his breast fetish. He had an accomplice now, someone on the inside, a double agent operating in plain sight among the large-bosomed young women of the world. He still did not know the terms on which this unusual partnership operated, but he reasoned that he may as well enjoy it while it lasted.

  ‘I can see just from looking at you that you’re wearing completely the wrong size. Let’s take Roger’s corporate credit card and go into town now to get you properly measured.’ Uschi held out her hand by way of requesting the card.

  ‘It requires my signature,’ said Roger with an apologetic grimace.

  Uschi planted her hands on her womanly hips. ‘Well then you had better come bra shopping with us, hadn’t you, Roger?’

  The lingerie section of the department store was, thankfully, largely deserted as Uschi led the mildly embarrassed Alice and the more embarrassed Roger past aisles and aisles of bras and knickers in all colours and sizes.

  While Alice perused some lacy numbers that clearly appealed to her, Uschi took Roger to one side. ‘I’m going to go in with Alice while she gets fitted,’ she whispered. ‘I’m as excited about this as you are! I wonder what her boobies look like naked? I’m guessing they’re fat and round, with big flat pink nipples. What do you think?’

  Roger’s throat went dry. ‘I agree, though I’m picturing small, dark nipples.’

  Uschi took her smartphone from her handbag. ‘I’m going to put this in the corner of the fitting room and film her secretly as she undresses and has her breasts measured. You can watch it and learn a lot about how bra sizing really works.’

  ‘Uschi, are you sure you should be... You know...’

  ‘Oh, too unethical for you?’ Uschi drew herself up and eyed Roger. ‘I don’t think you’re in any position to judge.’

  Roger had to agree with her. He had to agree with everything she did... Or what? At the very worst she would inform his superiors in Frankfurt head office of his filthy misdemeanours and he would be fired on the spot for misconduct. He may never work again. The only thing that seemed to be keeping him afloat was the obvious enjoyment Uschi was taking in all of this. Until when was the olive-skinned German tease going to prolong this agonising punishment?

  They wandered over to join Alice as she browsed. The blonde held a bra up to her turquoise-clad bust. ‘What do you think of this one?’

  The bra was, to all intents and purposes, entirely see-through. Roger’s penis stirred at the thought of Alice’s ample bosom being neatly, and visibly, contained within its sheer elasticated cups. He hadn’t ejaculated for over three days, the weekend’s fretting having robbed him of the inclination to allow himself his usual nightl
y relief, and all of a sudden he was really beginning to feel the bloated pressure in his tight, swollen scrotum.

  ‘It’s completely transparent!’ remarked Uschi. ‘Everyone will see your nipples! Unless you have tiny pale nipples, of course?’

  ‘They’re small, my nipples,’ said Alice. ‘Not that you’d think so, what with my bosoms being the size they are. But they’re quite a dark shade of pink, and usually very hard.’

  ‘So in a tight white top we’d see everything,’ surmised Uschi. ‘I am wearing a see-through bra at the moment, but my nipples are almost the same tone as my skin, and though they are large and quite puffy, they swell very gently, which under a couple of layers of clothing isn’t all that noticeable. And of course this blouse is very dark. But in your case I am not so sure. And Roger can only sign this purchase off as a business expense if it forms part of a respectable business wardrobe, correct Roger?’